Fall is in the air, which means a few things: bundling up in warm layers, building crackling fires in the wood stove, preparing slow cooked meals from a hearty summer harvest, mixing up spiced beverages of the boozy variety, and watching the colors change as people return from their summer vacations. But, this year it means something else for me: this year fall is the beginning of my spiritual renaissance.
It's hard sometimes to remember to slow down amidst work, friends, family, appointments, errands, and they day-in and day-out chores that can leave us all feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Prioritizing life becomes difficult when you feel the weight of all these things bearing down on you, and making time to nurture and care for your own self is often lost under all these layers.
Even the most conscious minded individuals, the ones who make an intentional effort to cultivate their spirits, can forget - and I'm just as guilty as anyone else. But this year something is different. Maybe I'm settling into adulthood, or maybe I've just grown tired of succumbing to standards less than what I've intended for myself. When I think back on my childhood and the imaginative, creative-minded little girl that I was, I cringe to think that somehow I've buried and forgotten her in some abyss below all the peripheral things in my life. Not only did realizing that I was absentmindedly losing myself startle and scare me, but it made me feel sad, lonely even.
So I changed a few things. This summer for instance, I decided to take a few risks, and the result was, well, shocking. Surprising yourself can be both scary and invigorating. It can be tiring and evoke feelings of hopelessness at times, too. But the alternative to this is a life built on regret, which is really the most frightening feeling I think a person can have. People always say when you look back on your life, you won't regret the things that you did, you'll regret the things that you didn't do. I won't say this is a phrase I would live by, but it certainly does ring some truth.
Sometimes the lives we want for ourselves cannot be achieved by simply jumping at opportunities. More than often we have to set ourselves up for those opportunities to even present themselves, and that can be a lot of hard, and even stressful work. But the gratifying thing about this struggle is that at the end of the day, you can smile and relish in your handmade success. And, just for clarification, success is different for everyone. Sure, there's the stereotypical version of success that they teach you in school, but as far as I'm concerned, that version of success has exhausted itself as boring and mundane. Get a good job, buy a nice house, etc. To me success is living each day well and knowing that my conscious, physical life was spent brimming with a fierce and fiery richness. And the best thing? When you approach your life with this kind of perspective, whatever goals you set for yourself may be achieved, but there is no end in sight - it's just one beautiful thing flourishing into the next, on this long and enchanting journey.
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